Footballer Friday: Michael Owen

Today's footballer is Michael Owen. He plays for Newcastle United, and formerly played for Liverpool and Real Madrid.

He is my boyfriend.

No seriously, I love him. If you asked me in 1998 who I was going to marry, I would have replied, "Michael Owen" without any sort of hesitation. This was due to the World Cup in France in 1998. I was watching and rooting for England (obvs - but, oh, the pain this has caused me over the years) and I saw Michael Owen and I fell in instant love. Michael Owen fueled my burgeoning Anglophenia. I don't care if he is always hurt and not getting picked for the England team anymore, I will always love him.

More of Michael:

(The above pic is circa 1998. HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE HIM?)



I could post like 1,000 more pictures, but I'll stop because I have to go write "Mrs. Michael Owen" all over my notebooks in sparkly pink glitter pen. (Sorry, Louise - aka the Real Mrs. Michael Owen.)

A Very Belated WAG Wednesday: Cheryl Cole

Today's WAG is Cheryl Cole, even though Cheryl is always like, "I'm not a WAG because I actually work!" but whatever, she is a WAG and it's fine. We are birthday buddies, although she is one year older than me. Cheryl is also in the best band in the world, Girls Aloud, who were formed on Popstars: The Rivals in 2003. Cheryl has had some probs with the law, and allegedly beat a bathroom attendant up or something. It's all very chavvy and everyone kind of conveniently forgets about it now. Whatever.

Cheryl's husband is Ashley Cole, who plays for Chelsea and is an epic wanker. Last year, Ashley cheated on Cheryl with some chavvy hairdresser girl, and Cheryl was all tragically swanning around in the tabloids being all like, "I hope you enjoy the designer bag you bought with the money you got from selling your story to the tabloids." Cheryl has now emerged as Britain's Sweetheart because she is a judge on The X Factor and in the amazing Girls Aloud. Everyone still hates Ashley for the Chelsea/Arsenal shenanigans of 2006 and also for cheating on Cheryl. Cheryl can be found on the cover of February's British Vogue.

I want her hair:

40 days and 40 nights

For the next 40 days, I have decided not to shop or drink coffee.  These are the two things that have a huge presence in my life.  

Shopping:  Oh, how I love thee.  Clothes, shoes, household items, in store, online.  Shopping makes everything that much better.  How will I live without thee for 40 days.  I'm actually quite excited about giving it up for awhile.  I will save a TON of money.  I'm all about having extra cash.  And bet your ass, April 13th I will reward myself with a shopping trip.

Coffee:  The devil's juice.  You make my day easier.  You make me more efficient and productive.  You also make me not be psycho in the mornings.   However, you also eat up a chunk of my money every week, and cause for a nasty crash during the afternoon.  Hopefully, I will not cave in 3 days from now.

Hotness Thursday!!

For this edition of Hotness Thursday, we have tennis player James Blake!

James is currently ranked #13 on the ATP tour and he's also my future husband!!

The end.

A Smoker's Delight

Roxanne and I traveled to Saint Louis this past weekend for a little Mardi Gras fun.  We had high hopes, but a supreme lack of motivation kicked in.  "Live Free or Die Hard" was on all day, and of course we had to watch it every single time it was on.  Of course we had to sit around the kitchen and chat for an hour about school and "One Tree Hill".  That's just the way we roll.  Anyway, we finally made it down to Soulard for some French shenanigans.  We drank beer in a tent full of people that smelled like the zoo.  We watched grown men fall on each other because they couldn't stand straight.  Really drunk and unattractive men tried hitting on us.  Then we made it to the bar.  This is where we discovered that people can actually smoke INSIDE in STL.

We were shocked beyond belief.  We forgot that was a thing in STL.  It's so easy to forget how nice clean air smells.  This phenomenon brought back memories of how I reeked the day after going out.  How your clothes and hair smell.  It's disgusting.  The next day I had to Febreeze my jeans.  Yes, I actually used those words in a sentence together.  STL really needs to get with the times, I mean, Columbia, MO and Kansas City both have banned smoking inside.  Is St. Louis really that far behind?  

Hotness Thursday

Welcome to another addition of Hotness Thursday! This week:

Austin Nichols who is currently playing Julian Baker on One Tree Hill.

Hotness!!

The End of the Love Affair?

My grad school program is full of girls. Girls everywhere! Now, I love my ladies, but would it kill a man to enter a counseling program? And when one does, be attractive? In walks Jake Ryan.  I was just sitting in my Multicultural Counseling class one day (about 5 weeks in) when I realize the guy in front of me is extremely attractive (it helped he had recently got a haircut.  Believe me, it does wonders).  And so started the crush.  He was not only extremely good looking, but smart, funny, successful, and much much more.  I was in love.  He was my ideal man.  All of my friends knew about him, and loved him as well (creepy? maybe.)  We started conversing while waiting for the train, and I soon learned we were neighbors.  Those train rides home were magical.  Then class ended, and our love soon was put on simmer.

This quarter Jake Ryan was once again in my class.  It had been a year since we had class together, and several months since our last train ride.  I had high expectations for this class and our future relationship.  However, 7 weeks of class have passed and we haven't spoken, nor have I had an overwhelming desire to talk to him.  There have been a few stolen glances, lingering looks, but no conversation.  Sometimes when he speaks in class I have the smallest desire to hit him.  But then he redeems himself with his bubbling personality and take on the world.  Which brings me to yesterday.  There were four of us in a room talking and laughing.  Jake Ryan kept walking back and forth in front of me, staring, shoveling pizza in his mouth.  I was going to make some smart ass comment on Mizzou kicking KU's ass in the basketball game a few weeks ago (We went to rival schools), but then decided not to.  He could also talk to me.  Stop staring and say hello.  Are you nervous?  Shy? Sickened by the sight of me? Say so.  Stop it, Jake Ryan.  You're becoming a little less fancy in my mind.

WAG Wednesday: Victoria Beckham

WAG's (Footballers Wives and Girlfriends) are amazing. We have nothing like them in America, and that makes me sad. Therefore, WAG Wednesday is going to be a thing. Because when I grow up, I totes want to be a WAG.

We will start with the Queen WAG, the HBIC, my life role model:

Victoria Beckham

I miss the extensions, but you have to admit that this is genius:

I want to be her when I grow up. Also, you all should read her autobiography because it is brill.

Seriously? Seriously.

Lily Allen recently said the following...

“Parents should say, ‘Drugs might seem fun, but they do funny things to your brain. Some people react to it good, some don’t. Try it and see what you think’.”

“If I hadn’t been famous I’d have taken loads. Wouldn’t be too wise right now.” “I’ve never been good with cocaine or drugs like that. They make me passionately angry on everything. I steer clear of heroin or crack."

Um awesome Lily Allen?

"I know lots of people that take cocaine three nights a week and get up and go to work every day, no problem at all. We never hear that side of the story. I have no statement to make. I just wish people wouldn't sensationalize this thing that just exists. The only story is that drugs are bad and they will kill you - you will become a prostitute, a rapist or a dealer. But that's not true."

I see Lily Allen's point here, however I'll just mention that perhaps Ms. Allen should be more educated into the effects of drugs, including cocaine. Also, I think any responsible parent would say the following " Don't do drugs. Don't drink and drive. And I would hope if you were in any of these situations you would call me if you needed help. You could seriously hurt yourself or others. Please ask questions about drugs or alcohol if you are curious."

Dear Lily Allen, please refrain from spouting ridiciulous theories about parenting when you are a drunk pot head that needs intense therapy.

Seriously.

You're Not Fancy

The Snuggie. Enough said.

You're Not Fancy.

Dating Do's and Don'ts by Mia

Do Not propose on Valentine's Day. I will likely laugh at you and slap you. Not Fancy!

Obsession??

I Love Shopping! Shopping is the best. Anytime I'm feeling blue, a trip to the mall (or any online version) is always a pick me up. Shoes! Jewelry! Clothes! Beauty products! It's all amazing. But when does it get to be too much?

I saw Confessions of a Shopaholic this weekend, and it was very cute. Isla Fisher wore some amazing clothes. The moral of this movie was probably around the lines of how women should be financially aware and how shopping is bad. However, I left the movie with the hugest urge to shop. I wanted everything I saw. Problem?

Maybe I just like fancy things.

You're Not Fancy: Sickness

My current sickness has me sounding like a 78 year old chain smoker. Sickness: You're Not Fancy!!

Footballer Friday: Iker Casillas

I present to you the first in an ongoing Friday series, Footballer Friday:


Iker Casillas, Goalkeeper, Real Madrid.

Iker recently equaled the record for appearances by a Real Madrid GK at the age of 27. Hot AND talented? Sign me up. I personally can think of no better way to start posting pictures of hot footballers than to start with Iker. Everything good in life starts with Iker, really.

Gimme more, you say? Your wish is my command:





For more footballer fun, visit Kickette!

A weekend away from the strugs?

I recieved an email from Mia earlier today reminding all of us to book our flights for our long weekend trip coming up in May, so excited!

Just 94 days from now Mia, Roxanne and yours truly will be getting away from the strugs of our lives on a weekend trip to "soothing" Scottsdale, Arizona. We assumed we would work out, lay by the pool all day and go out at night drinking margaritas and assorted beverages sassing up the local male population.

The idea was to get away for a decent price leaving our strugs behind for a few days. In reality it's just another oppurtunity to discuss the strugs we have back home only to engage in more strugs on vacation.

It's how we do; obsess then work it out on the dance floor. Bring on the strugs!

Girls only weekend? def.

Hotness Thursday

A new addition guaranteed to brighten everyone's day: Hotness Thursday!!

Your first dose: Brian Hallisay from Privileged.  Hotness!!

Enjoy.

Completely Obsessed

Here is a random sampling of things I am completely obsessed with this week:

• Adele! I've been obsessed with her music since early last year, but this week Adele is just speaking to me. I literally cannot get enough of To Make You Feel My Love. (I know it's a cover. I don't care.) Actually, her whole album, 19 is phenom, so please just go procure it from the musical source of your choice.

• The ending to the movie Slumdog Millionaire. I've watched it approximately five times since Sunday. If you don't cry when Jamal (my Dev Patel from Skins! I never thought he would be the famous one, but I'm LOVING it!) says "This is our destiny" to Latika, then I have severe doubts about your capability to feel human emotions.

• The essay Goodbye to All That by Joan Didion in her book of essays, Slouching Towards Bethlehem. I can't remember the last time I cried over a piece of writing like I did this one.
  

• Old reruns of Friends. For example, I just watched the Pilot on my tivo. It was terrible, and I'm not just talking about the fashions (Monica's high waisted suspenders combo? Tragic). However, season five episodes are currently airing on TBS ("They don't know that we know that they know!") and making my life a happy place.

Expect a weekly post of my current obsessions. You know you love it.

You're Not fancy!

First off, control freaks ... seriously, sad stories. Their just seeking perfectionism because they don't have good self-esteem. Too bad you need to pull the pole out of your ass.

Secondly, leggings... Leggings are not pants!!! No one wants to see your ass in spandex pants. And no, I'm not jealous- I refuse to wear leggings and crocs. Crocs are a plastic shoe that is not any cooler than jellies. Jellies are far cooler, but not approp for 2009. Get it together people.

So in the end... if you are a brown nosing, legging wearer, croc wearer... YOU ARE NOT FANCY! The end.

Finally!

It seems that Izzie and George are done at Seattle Grace.  Let me just say, thank the Lord.  I was literally watching Grey's on Thursday and George was nowhere to be found.  I believe he was on for all of 1 minute.  

Poor, poor Izzie.  How they completely destroyed your character.  You used to be my fav, then you went and turned into a homewrecker, and now have some mysterious illness that allows you to get it on with your very dead fiance.  Whatever.

I'm not sad, and this has been a long time coming.  As much as I try to like you Katherine Heigl, you were a little ungrateful last year.  T.R. I have no words for you.  Good luck, my friends.  Good luck.

You're Not Fancy

Tanorexia.

It's an epidemic. Please, just say no!

Bitches, Man

Alex Rodriguez: The fact that you're orange and a douche. I can't believe I had a crush on you ten years ago.

Bitches, Man!

Mizzou/KU

Last night, the glorious Mizzou Tigers came back and beat the lowly Kansas Jayhawks. I can't say I follow Mizzou basketball as much anymore (more of a football gal), but back in the day basketball was where it was at. An Elite Eight team, #2 ranking for a few weeks, life was sweet. However, everything came crashing down a year later and things are finally looking up again. I must say that I think I had something to do with this win, considering they haven't beat Kansas since I graduated, and therefore stopped watching. Last night was the first full game I've watched in years and look what happened. Sweet Jazz!

I'm just not that into you.

Oh, He's Just Not That Into You. I wanted to like you. Really, I did. I don't really have high standards for entertainment (I own From Justin to Kelly) and I suppose you met those standards, but I was still disappointed. Allow me to take the lazy way out and make a bulleted list of problems:

• ScarJo, your acting was as crappy as usual. Did you go to the Angelina Jolie school of "I'm hot, please don't ask me to actually like emote and stuff" school of acting? Also, what was WITH those extensions you were sporting in this movie? Those were kind of a hot mess.
• Bradley Cooper, why were you an asshole in this movie? Why are you an asshole in most movies now? You are my stupid, sexy Will Tippin (from Alias, the best show ever, Netflix it, yo.) forever and always.
  
• I am aware that the first two bullet points were about actors and not the movie. I'm getting to the movie.
• Ginnfer Goodwin's character was an exaggeration of every crazy behavior a girl has partaken in while pursuing a guy. Once I became comfortable with that fact, I could stop groaning and covering my eyes every time she opened her mouth. No one behaves like that in real life. No one!
• Drew Barrymore and her gays. And the point of that was...? (Sidenote: I thought Drew's one gay bff was Wilson Cruz, aka Ricky from My So-Called Life and it was! Score one for me/imdb! While on imdb, I figured out that one of Drew's other gay bff's was Brian from the Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants movies, which was bugging me. Also, if you don't have firefox+adblock, you totes should because it makes imdb a much more enjoyable experience.)
  
• Will it ever be possible to look at Jennifer Aniston/Ben Affleck without thinking of the ghosts of relationships past? I know Ben is happily married (To Sydney Bristow!) and all that now but part of me will always (unfortunately) remember the J. Lo years. As for Jen, what else do we need to say? But I will say that even though the Jen-Ben storyline ended totally cliche and sappy, I was still like, "awww" when he proposed about five years later than he should have. Contrary to popular belief, I am not made of stone people.
• I think the Kevin Connolly/Drew Barrymore storyline should have started earlier in the movie. They were cute together! (Especially in the credits part.) I did not enjoy watching E from Entourage moon over ScarJo for most of the movie.
• Jennifer Connelly broke a REALLY nice mirror towards the end of the movie. It was tragic. (The Jezebel liveblog was right! Also, please go read that immediately after finishing this post because it was the funniest thing I have read in a long time.)
• This movie was over two hours long! In what universe does a romcom need to be over two hours long?
• Why was everything so retro in this movie? Ben Affleck drove what looked to be a woodchuck station wagon, Ginnfer Goodwin's entire wardrobe and apartment was stuck in 1957 (and was cute, honestly), as was Jennifer Connelly and Bradley Cooper's house. Was it some sort of weird social commentary about some of the ideas and beliefs contained in the movie?
  

So, to sum things up: Way to spend an entire movie talking about how certain situations are "exceptions" and not "rules" only to end the movie with about five different "exceptions". Lame.

I still maintain that the actual best parts of seeing the movie were seeing the Star Trek (!) trailer and the Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) trailer. Yes, I watched Star Trek (OG and Next Generation) as a kid with my dad, judge away. But the new movie was made by JJ Abrams, who made Alias, which I have now referenced three times in this post. Seriously, go Netflix seasons 1 and 2 of Alias instead of seeing this movie. (Or just wait until this movie is out on DVD. Then it probably won't bug as much.)

In the meantime, I'll be waiting until next weekend to see my life story, aka Confessions of a Shopaholic on screen. And I still want Ginnfer Goodwin's shoes when she's at Justin Long's party.

Bitches, Man

Scarlett Johansson. You're existence.

Bitches, man.

He's not that into you...

As Mia described her opinion of the new flick, I thought about it and actually agreeed with her! Being a romantic at heart, I am the sap that cries in love films of any kind and always the believer that love conqures all. However, He's just not that into you changed lives. And the movie did not do the phrase and the meaning justice.

In the outcomes of all story lines (except Drew Barrymore's )everyone became the exception to the rule. In reality most of these scenerios would be another ice cream eating fest and another "why me?" self-loathing night. Many of these story lines have happened to me, and as I sat there watching this movie I kept thinking well HE DIDN'T COME BACK AND GIVE ME SUCH A NICE SPEECH, just perhaps a few texts and lame excuses. Or perhaps the guy who knows just what to say, ends up being an ass... and you end up ending the realtionship thinking its your fault. These are situations that are hopeless, and in any movie it needs to give the audience it's end... that when a guy meets mrs. right they change! Well, for all the sirs out there don't be such a lame. But I guess the bright side is, as someone in a realtionship perhaps it is just a matter of time before you do meet that right person and all the drama does disappear. Hollywood ending? Def no. Worthwhile realtionship without the drama? Yes.

He's Just Not That Into You

I may not be that into this movie. Don't get me wrong, it was enjoyable, cute even. You're typical "chick flick." But did it stay true to the book? Nope. Don't give girls false hope. All does not work out in the end. Stop making the ladies believe that that guy will show up at your door and spew some well-written lines then fall into your loving embrace. Not gonna happen. Maybe I'm being a hater, everyone was wiping their eyes at certain parts. Idk. It's a nice escape from reality, so tread lightly.